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Tradition, especially for people living in the inaka (countryside), is very embedded and people need to respect that.” “Dating in Japan can be challenging if you do not understand the language and, most importantly, the culture. Socorro, a cis-female lesbian from Mexico City, entered Japan’s LGBT+ scene about 12 years ago. Cultural norms and traditions make acceptance difficult So, it’s no surprise the ladies I interviewed tend to get mixed responses from those they come out to. According to global data from the Pew Research Center, 61% of Japanese people over 50 believe homosexuality is unacceptable.
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These may sound like isolated incidents, but discrimination runs deep among the older and more conservative generations who hold most of the political power. There’s also a recent case of an Osaka man who wasn’t allowed to attend his same-sex partner’s cremation. At least, those were the scathing words of politician Mio Sugita just last year. Yet, there remains a feeling among many that queer people are an “unproductive” burden to society. It is just a different education and perception about life,” “My mother in law… has told me a couple of times to ditch her daughter and go find a good man in order for me … make babies.
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Queerness is also getting more representation in the media-a Terrace House cast member came out on national television, a Japanese lesbian couple who traveled the world spreading awareness about LGBT+ issues received international coverage, and Buzzfeed Japan now hosts a heartwarming and intimate new series interviewing queer folks. Japan is already a safe place for queers and is steadily improving its stance on gay rights. As outsiders, expats simultaneously have an easier time coming out (in general, we aren’t held to the same standards as native Japanese) and a more difficult one (we may not fully comprehend local norms and social cues). The result: insight into life as an LGBT+ living in Japan. In order to get a better look into Japan’s queer dating scene, I enlisted the help of more experienced expats who identified as female. Also, being a cis femme (someone who was born female, identifies as female, and dresses like a stereotypical female), people always assumed I was straight anyway. I dabbled but had little luck-as a lazy bisexual, I mainly stuck to dating men. Traditional ways of finding a partner might not work for someone whose identity or orientation is a secret. Though a significant portion of the population allegedly falls on the LGBT+ spectrum, many queer people are closeted, which makes meeting them a challenge. Hate crimes and public displays of discrimination are rare, but this may be because queerness is rarely flaunted and violent crimes often go unreported. From my experience, the general narrative accepted by mainstream society is that LGBT+ individuals simply do not exist. In Japan, it isn’t a crime to be homosexual, but it’s not exactly accepted either. Ever! Of course, what they really meant was they’d never met someone who was out.
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No, this wasn’t some sneaky initiative to promote the gay agenda-the topic was actually in the book! As I went around the room eliciting stories, every single one of my eight fully-grown adult students admitted they’d never met a queer person. Here, locals share what works for them.īack when I taught English in Japan, I once led a discussion on coming out. Dating in general is already difficult, so imagine looking for a partner in a country where much of the population rarely discusses your sexual orientation.